Tips for Choosing a Therapist: Finding the Right Support for Your Healing Journey

Written by Stephanie Underwood

Seeking therapy is a courageous step toward understanding yourself better and healing from past wounds. Whether you’re navigating complex emotional challenges, relational trauma, or simply want to improve your emotional and mental well-being, finding the right therapist can make all the difference. In fact, the relationship between you and the therapist is one of the most critical choices you can make when looking to start your therapy journey.

This guide offers practical tips and insights to help you choose a therapist who aligns with your needs and supports your growth.

Understanding the Importance of Choosing a Therapist Who Fits You

Choosing a therapist is not just about credentials or availability. It’s about finding someone who resonates with your unique story and emotional landscape. Therapy is a deeply personal process, especially when dealing with attachment patterns, betrayal trauma, or nervous system regulation. The right therapist will create a safe space where you feel heard, validated, and empowered.

A high percentage of trauma experienced by individuals is relational trauma. Just like relational trauma is created within the context of a relational ship - healing this type of trauma also requires that it be done in a relationship. This might be a bold statement for some, but if it doesn’t “click” with your new therapist upon speaking with them go the first time, they’re most likely not the right fit.

Other than how you feel when you speak to the therapist for the first time, there are some questions that can also help to reinforce your pick.

When considering a therapist, think about:

• Specialization: Does the therapist have experience with relational trauma, attachment styles, or CPTSD?

• Approach: Are they trauma-informed? Do they use modalities that feel right for you, such as somatic therapy, EMDR, or cognitive-behavioral techniques?

• Cultural Sensitivity: Do they understand and respect your background and values?

• Accessibility: Can you attend sessions in person or online? Are their hours compatible with your schedule?

  
  

Taking time to reflect on these factors helps ensure your therapy experience is productive and healing.

Therapy office setup for comfort and safety

Key Considerations When Choosing a Therapist

When you start your search, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by options. Here are some key considerations to guide your decision:

1. Credentials and Experience

Look for licensed professionals such as Registered Social Workers (RSW), psychologists, or psychotherapists. Verify their credentials and years of experience, especially in areas relevant to your needs like trauma and attachment. And don’t be afraid to ask them about their experience and credentials upon meeting them. You have every right to know who you’re signing up to work with.

2. Therapeutic Style and Approach

Therapists use various approaches. Some focus on talk therapy, others integrate body-based techniques or mindfulness. If you struggle with emotional regulation or nervous system dysregulation, a therapist trained in somatic experiencing or trauma-informed care might be a better fit. Ask the therapist what their approach is and whether it would be a good fit for what you’re looking to work on.

3. Comfort and Rapport

Therapy requires vulnerability. Feeling comfortable with your therapist is essential. Many therapists offer a brief consultation to see if you connect well. Trust your instincts during this initial meeting.

4. Practical Factors

Consider location, session fees, insurance coverage, and availability. Online therapy can be a flexible option if you live in a rural area, if you’re a busy individual, or if you simply want to attend counselling from the comfort of your own home.

5. Reviews and Recommendations

Ask trusted friends or healthcare providers for recommendations. Online reviews can also provide insight into a therapist’s style and effectiveness. Keep in mind that a therapist may also not have reviews due to professional limitations in relation to confidentiality.

What's the Best Way to Find the Right Therapist?

Finding the right therapist is a process that involves research, reflection, and sometimes trial and error. Here are some actionable steps to help you navigate this journey:

Start with a Clear Goal

Identify what you want to work on. Are you seeking help with managing CPTSD symptoms, improving your adult attachment style, or healing from betrayal trauma? Clear goals help narrow your search.

Use Trusted Directories and Resources

Professional directories often list therapists by specialty and location. For example, you can explore options on platforms dedicated to mental health professionals in Canada.

Schedule Initial Consultations

Many therapists offer a free or low-cost introductory session. Use this opportunity to ask about their experience with trauma and attachment, their approach to therapy, and how they support emotional regulation.

Reflect on Your Experience

After a few sessions, assess how you feel. Are you comfortable sharing your story? Do you feel understood? Therapy is a collaborative process, and it’s okay to switch therapists if the fit isn’t right.

Be Patient and Persistent

Finding the right therapist can take time. Don’t get discouraged if the first few don’t feel like the perfect match. Your healing journey is worth the effort.

Using an online directory to find a therapist

How to Communicate Your Needs Effectively in Therapy

Once you find a therapist, clear communication is key to maximizing your therapy experience. Here are some tips:

• Be Honest About Your History: Share your experiences with trauma, attachment issues, or emotional challenges openly.

• Express Your Goals: Let your therapist know what you hope to achieve. It’s also okay if you don’t immediately know your goals as well.

• Give Feedback: If something isn’t working, speak up. Therapy is a partnership.

• Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to ask about techniques, session structure, or homework assignments.

• Discuss Boundaries: Clarify what feels safe and comfortable for you.

  
  

Effective communication helps your therapist tailor sessions to your needs and supports your emotional safety.

Supporting Your Healing Outside of Therapy

Therapy is a powerful tool, but healing also happens between sessions. Here are some strategies to complement your work with a therapist:

• Practice Self-Regulation Techniques: Learn breathing exercises, grounding methods, or mindfulness to manage emotional overwhelm.

• Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings: Writing can help process emotions and track progress.

• Build a Support Network: Connect with friends, support groups, or online communities focused on trauma and attachment.

• Educate Yourself: Read books or listen to podcasts about adult attachment styles, CPTSD, and nervous system regulation.

• Set Healthy Boundaries: Protect your emotional space in relationships.

  
  

These practices empower you to take an active role in your healing journey.

Moving Forward with Confidence and Hope

Choosing the right therapist is a foundational step toward healing from trauma and building healthier relationships. Remember, therapy is a journey of self-discovery and growth. With the right support, you can learn to regulate your emotions, understand your attachment patterns, and create a fulfilling emotional life.

If you’re wondering how to find therapist, start by exploring trusted resources and reaching out for consultations. Visit a platform like Psychology Today and browse through the different professionals to help find the perfect match. Your path to healing is unique, and the right therapist will walk alongside you with empathy and expertise.

Take the first step today - your emotional well-being is worth it.